... is amazing. I'm really quite enjoying it this time around.

First off, I'm going to a class taught by a hot dyke daddy. This, in itself, is major inspiration to show up. ;) I mean, she's just awesome... as a sort of mentor. In that, I look up to her a lot. She seems so grounded, spiritual (but not in a gross way), together, and just solid. Yum.

Second, it's amazing because I haven't done yoga in years and the change that I'm noticing in my mental space since then is incredible. My ability to focus and be present is magnified. My worries about my body are all but gone. My anxiousness about other students in the class is completely gone.

I spend a lot of time being worried about my hip flexor and other parts of my body that hurt from derby. I wonder if I'm feeling good pain in those parts (stretching) or bad pain (using something too much that needs rest to recuperate).

***

That said, today I am very grumpy. My kitty woke me up about 10 times this morning. And I just can't shake the crankiness. Grrrrr.

So, I had a 'team party' today for my derby team. It's in quotes because only three people came. BUT it was three people I really like, so it was cute.

In any case... one of them made an announcement that she had had "a brilliant idea" today about our team. We were all ears, then she said "Bliss should jam."

I laughed.

But she was serious. You know, if I had good endurance I could be a kick ass jammer.
I'm quick, agile, hard to knock over... BUT I get so tired so fast. That is a huge BUT.

So anyhow, they were all pushing me about it. Saying I should do it, train for it.

I feel flattered. But all of my insecurities come pouring out when I think about actually doing it. We'll see... it's something to think about. I'd really have to up the amount of cardio I do.

Oh yeah, and jamming is scary!

This blog will be private from here on out... only livejournal friends will be able to read it. Please add me, if you wish to!

I actually thought this was already the case. Oops.

I overheard two men at work discussing whether or not double penetration was gay 'because dude, your dick is rubbing up against another dick even if you're both in a girl.' Um, seriously? But what could I say? It was work-related, afterall.

Changing gears, I'm working on a lot lately, mentally. Getting somewhere? I guess we'll see. I do have a good feeling all around... a sort of rising optimism. Yeah, scary.

I will be going roller skating on Wednesday night... if I can find people to go with. Looking forward to skating SO much. I hope it goes okay for my hip. It is feeling better lately when I walk. I want to go back to derby in a week or two. Eeeek. But no full contact for quite a while yet.

I got an iphone. Even though I've wanted one forever... I didn't think it was going to be as amazing as it is. Seriously. Although, it's a little sad, somehow, too. Just because when I was in grad school I wanted a small screen just like it to use in artwork so badly. I researched and never really found a workable solution. Now I have it and I don't make art. Boo. (Crisis of faith.)

The first thing I did-- when I was still in the iphone store-- was to pull up this video of mine from youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpiZDW3NPJ0 So there I was with my video playing over the internet on a tiny screen. It felt like a notable moment somehow. An experience in the problem with time. Fuck time.

I got a lovely two page letter in the mail today from my friend Katherine. I don't get hand-written letters often at all. It made me feel special. (Silly sounding, I know, but true nevertheless.) She wrote about what it's like to have a baby. Her son Max is 13 months old. Back when he turned one she sent an email out to some of us that said, "Max has made one trip around the sun." So cute and so smart. Katherine is amazing.

I wrote her a letter in response. It's weird to think that she won't get it for days. And that the very piece of paper I wrote on will be in her hands.

Wondering what it means that I write a little here but not at all in my real journal anymore.

Feeling that nagging 'what to do with my life,' feeling. A lot has changed for me in the last few months.

I devoted so much time to derby over the last year. I'm glad, really glad. But as I start to heal from this injury... I have moments where I contemplate not returning to it. Partly because I'm freaked out about getting injured again... or getting injured worse. Party also because I feel so far away from it now... and like returning would somehow be going backwards.

I'm still getting used to my job... it still feels new even as it becomes tedious. I have more time since I'm not doing derby... but I still somehow feel like I can't catch up mentally. I'm overstimulated. Maybe this has to do with my lack of journal-writing. Huh. I'm not processing things as much as I need to.

I have lots of half-formed thoughts about what I wish I was doing with my time. But none are cohesive enough to run with.

Spinning a bit. Not unhappy, but feeling unformed.  The way I think about myself, my life, what's around me, other people...  is slowly changing.

There are new snails eggs. Two clutches. I hope this time they actually hatch. I think they will-- there has been snail sex.

I went to the physical therapist this morning. I only got to see her for 10 minutes because the bridge was packed and I was late. (Despite getting up ridiculously early.) She says that my injury seems to be the result of impact for the most part. Also, exacerbated by sitting at a desk all day. Right, she's smart, it did get worse when I got this job. The good news though? If I follow "an aggressive stretching schedule" I might be good to go for the October 25th game in which ShEvil is going to cream the Silicon Valley League.

The stretches she gave me hurt like hell. Guess that's good.

One of the office cat's has been hanging out with me all day. He watches my mouse move around my screen as I design porn galleries.

Reaching out to friends today. I feel out of touch with lots of them. I haven't been the best friend lately.

I was sick all weekend. No fun, but my little brother was visiting so I rallied the best I could. There was a derby bout. Richmond won. Which means, this is the end of my team's season. Bummer.

There will be photos. (Thank you Blake. Miss you.)

I looked through some old journals yesterday. Strange, that. I read parts to my brother that concerned him. I used to write down so many things. Lately, not so much. It's been weeks since I've written at all-- besides here. Looking through all of that inspired me to make a new book with vellum pages. Working on it already-- which made me clean up my work desk-- something I've been meaning to do for weeks. Feels good. The book is small so that hopefully I will carry it. I have the desire to draw lately...  to attempt designing things to be printed on shirts. Just for me... and sort of as tattoo-possibility-research.

I feel almost-not-sick-anymore.

I also have a great urge to purge my life of objects that sit around my apartment. There are all these things that I don't feel emotionally connected to anymore... mostly the creepiness I used to collect.

***
Video about a penis restaurant.

What a great weekend. I needed it.  Still, I'm super happy to be home. A few images...

Since I'm stuck in airport purgatory, some links...

Check off the ingredients you happen to have around and this site will offer recipes.
http://www.cookingbynumbers.com/frames.html

Top 10 fantasy worlds!
http://listverse.com/literature/top-10-fantasy-worlds-in-literature/

Free fonts. I've downloaded about 40 while I've been sitting here. It's like shopping!
http://www.dafont.com/top.php

Make a book! This looks super cool. I might do it. (Much cheaper than the ones I had printed previously.)
http://www.blurb.com/

Love this photo:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2082/2418848398_4a27188dbf_o.jpg

--I wish there was a yoga ball here in the airport. My back needs a good stretch.--

A constantly updating list of what other people are checking out.
http://theweblist.net/

Cool stuff.
 http://blog.kaboodle.com/kaboodleblog/fab_finds/index.html

Quite fun if you like language.
http://tashian.com/multibabel/

...  I should *really* be on my way to Vegas soon. *wait, wait, wait*

Leaving tonight... wish me luck. Will post.

... in the world!

And the best part? They fit me properly.

Blue... with grey stripes. Happy.

I leave for Rollercon tomorrow!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_anemone

I totally thought anemone was spelled 'anenome.'

Hmm... I would, someday, like to have a salt water aquarium of my very own.

*smile*